Welcome to this week’s 1-2-1 newsletter. A small pause to reflect, reconnect, and pay attention to what matters.
Inside you’ll find one idea I’m sitting with, two voices I’m learning from, and one question or practice to carry into the week ahead.
Last week we talked about regret. The week before that, we talked about failure. Both of those conversations assume we’re moving. Taking action. Trying things. Making mistakes. Learning from them and adjusting course.
But there is another side to the story.
What about staying?
Have you ever had a disagreement with someone that felt impossible in the moment, only for the relationship to become stronger because both people stuck around long enough to work through it? If either person had walked away at the first sign of conflict, they never would have discovered what was on the other side.
The same thing happens in careers, businesses, hobbies, and relationships. Sometimes the breakthrough comes just after the point where most people would quit. Sometimes the lesson is to stop overthinking, put your head down, and keep going.
And yet we’ve also talked about complacency. About staying too long. About refusing to acknowledge when something isn’t working. About continuing down a path simply because we’ve already invested so much in it.
I guess what I’m circling around is this:
At some point, after all the wrong turns, failures, experiments, and false starts, you have to find something worth committing to.
But how do you know when you’re building something meaningful and when you’re simply refusing to let go?
When does persistence become wisdom?
And when does it become fear?
Commitment and Adaptation
At this point in my life, I am the master of persistence.
I’m extremely capable of continuing something long after it has stopped working. I’m not saying that to brag. At times, it’s been one of my biggest weaknesses.
Case in point: I was diagnosed with celiac disease last year.
Do you know how many beers, pizzas, sandwiches, muffins, grilled cheeses, and bowls of pasta I ate before seriously considering that maybe food was the problem?
My final year of university was defined by throwing up most afternoons in a bush beside the entrance to the recreation centre. Looking back, it seems ridiculous. At the time, it felt normal. I just assumed this was something I needed to endure.
The same thing happened more recently when I moved my clinic downtown. For three months I ran to and from work every day. At first the weather was bad and I couldn’t bike. Then my shins started hurting.
Naturally, I kept running.
I kept going until I was genuinely concerned I had a stress fracture. I was limping around the treatment table trying to work on patients because my leg hurt so much.
In both cases, I wasn’t lacking commitment. If anything, I had too much of it. The problem was that reality was giving me information and I wasn’t allowing that information to change my behaviour.
One of my favourite examples came while digging out the front yard for a gravel parking spot. It was slow, miserable work. I spent hours making almost no progress. Eventually, an older woman walked over and asked what I was doing. A few minutes later she returned with a garden fork.
That one tool changed everything.
Same project. Same goal. Same pile of dirt.
Different approach.
I’ve thought about that moment a lot over the past year.
I didn’t quit digging. I didn’t abandon the project. I didn’t suddenly become less committed to the outcome. What changed was my willingness to accept that the tool I was was using wasn't working.
The more I think about it, the more I wonder if that’s where so many of us get stuck.
We talk a lot about commitment, perseverance, and grit. We celebrate the people who keep showing up. And rightly so. Relationships become stronger because people stay in the conversation. Businesses survive because someone keeps showing up after a difficult month. Skills improve because we continue practicing long after the excitement wears off.
But commitment and adaptation need each other.
Without commitment, we abandon things before they’ve had a chance to grow.
Without adaptation, we continue doing the same thing while expecting different results.
If I had continued eating gluten for another ten years, that wouldn’t have been commitment. It would have been an unwillingness to learn from what my body was trying to tell me.
If I had kept running on an injured leg, that wouldn’t have been discipline. It would have been an attachment to a plan that was no longer serving me.
In both cases, the issue wasn’t effort.
The issue was that I had become attached to the tool.
I think that’s the lesson I’m still learning.
Reality gets a vote.
The world is constantly giving us feedback. Sometimes through success. Sometimes through frustration. Sometimes through pain. Sometimes through conversations we’d rather not have.
The challenge is remaining committed enough to keep going while staying humble enough to change.
Because wisdom isn’t found in never quitting.
And it isn’t found in changing direction every time things get difficult.
Maybe wisdom is the ability to stay committed to what matters while allowing reality to reshape how we pursue it.
Maybe that’s what growth really looks like.
Not abandoning the goal.
Just having the humility to pick up a different tool.
2 Voices I’m Learning From
1.
“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
I’ve always associated this quote with design and craftsmanship, but lately I’ve started wondering if it applies just as much to the stories we tell ourselves.
Over the years we accumulate beliefs, habits, identities, and assumptions. Some help us navigate the world. Others quietly keep us stuck long after they’ve outlived their usefulness.
Growth isn’t always about adding more. Sometimes it’s about having the humility to let go of what reality has already shown us we no longer need.
2.
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” — Confucius
This one is mostly for me, but maybe you need to hear it today too.
It’s easy to feel behind. To believe you’re stuck because your progress doesn’t look the way you hoped it would.
But progress isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like showing up one more day. Having one more difficult conversation. Trying one more approach.
You don’t have to have everything figured out tomorrow.
You just have to keep moving.
1 REFLECTION / ACTION
Where in your life are you clinging to a tool that's no longer serving you? And what would it look like to stay committed to the goal while letting go of the method?
One of the things I’ve come to appreciate is that life rarely asks us to choose between persistence and change. More often, it asks us to practice both at the same time.
Keep showing up.
Keep paying attention.
And when reality offers you a better tool, have the courage to pick it up.
If this resonated, share it with someone who might need it.
Thanks for being here.
Jack
P.S. I’ve been thinking a lot about pressure and freedom lately.
I recently published a short essay called The Freedom Paradox.
It goes deeper into some of what I’ve been working through.
eBook + audiobook here:
https://jackjohnstonwrites.gumroad.com/l/freedom-paradox