Welcome to this week’s 1-2-1 newsletter. A small pause to recharge, rethink, and reconnect.
Inside you’ll find one ideas I’m sitting with, two voices I’m learning from, and one tiny step you can take to feel more like yourself this week.
This week, I caught myself getting frustrated over something small.
Not because it went wrong.
But because it didn’t go the way I expected.
It made me realize how often I’m not reacting to reality, but to my expectations of it.
Personal Insight
Many of my frustrations come from trying to control things that were never mine to control.
I get some information and expect a specific outcome.
I plan. I prepare. I organize.
Then it doesn’t go how I thought it would.
Damn.
Have you ever felt that?
You try to organize something thoughtful and it falls flat.
You prepare something special and it goes unnoticed.
You think your finances are dialed in, then something breaks.
You put effort into dinner and it just… doesn’t land.
None of these are catastrophic.
But they add up.
And the common thread isn’t the event.
It’s the expectation.
To be clear, some things in life are genuinely hard.
Loss, illness, betrayal, things that shake you.
This isn’t about pretending those don’t matter.
It’s about noticing how often our day-to-day frustration comes from something much smaller:
The gap between what we expected and what actually happened.
I recently heard the question:
“What would you do if you knew you would fail?”
In other words, what would still be worth doing without recognition or outcome?
I realized a lot of what I was doing wouldn’t pass that test.
Some things are still enjoyable on their own.
But many only feel good when the outcome matches the expectation.
And that’s where things start to slip.
Expectations can be sneaky like that.
2 Voices I’m Learning From
1.
You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. — Marcus Aurelius
Expectations live in my own head.
That means they’re something I can notice, question, and adjust.
When I catch them early, I have options.
When I don’t, they tend to run the show.
2.
Pain is certain, suffering is optional. — The Buddha
Life will always have moments that don’t go our way.
That part isn’t optional.
But how tightly we hold onto how things should have gone?
That’s where a lot of the extra friction comes from.
The more I pay attention to this, the more I see:
It’s not just what I try to control.
It’s what I say yes to.
What I quietly expect in return.
What I assume will work out.
That’s where things start to get messy.
1 REFLECTION / ACTION
Pick one thing today that’s been bothering you.
Ask yourself two questions:
What part of this is actually in my control?
What part am I trying to control that isn’t?
Then shift your effort.
Act fully on what’s yours.
Loosen your grip on what isn’t.
If this resonated, share it with someone who might need it.
Thanks for being here.
Jack
P.S. I’ve been thinking a lot about pressure and freedom lately.
I recently published a short essay called The Freedom Paradox.
It goes deeper into some of what I’ve been working through.
eBook + audiobook here:
https://jackjohnstonwrites.gumroad.com/l/freedom-paradox