The Loop That Keeps You Stuck
Two reactions that almost work and quietly keep us stuck
Even when I know my current pattern isn’t working, it’s hard to break the cycle.
I can see it happening in real time.
Something happens where I know I should speak up… and I don’t.
Tension builds. Frustration. Resentment.
Eventually, I overstep.
I say too much, or say it the wrong way.
Then comes the pullback.
Embarrassment. Distance. Silence again.
Repeat.
There’s another version of this.
Wanting to be liked. Wanting to be helpful.
So I say yes.
It smooths things over. Keeps the peace.
So I say yes again.
Until the load builds.
Stress. Fatigue. Overcommitment.
Eventually, something gives.
And I’m left overwhelmed, underprepared, or checked out completely.
Repeat.
On the surface, these look like different problems.
But they’re not.
They’re two ways of avoiding the same thing.
Together, they form a loop.
Avoid → tension builds
Over give → overload builds
And I end up stuck in the middle.
Ashamed. Burnout. Disconnected.
The problem isn’t a lack of courage.
And it’s not a lack of strength.
It’s that both of these patterns almost work.
Just not well enough to actually move forward.
This is part of the Authority Arc.
Beginning | ← The Weight of Withholding | → You Knew. You Didn’t Speak Up
P.S. I’ve been thinking a lot about pressure and freedom lately.
I recently published a short essay called The Freedom Paradox. It goes deeper into some of what I’ve been working through.
eBook + audiobook here:
https://jackjohnstonwrites.gumroad.com/l/freedom-paradox